Author: nicole

I feel like someone is going to call me soon say, “Just kidding!” But I suppose not. I’m having a hard time REALLY letting this whole cancer thing sink in. I don’t feel sick. I don’t look sick. I like be hanging out, doing my life, feeling really peaceful and joyful and then all of a sudden my mind will ... Read More

Saul came to bed about 1 in the morning last night. My first mistake was saying “Hey Babe.” My second mistake was answering him in a complete sentence when he asked if I was awake.

Throughout our marriage, some of the best conversations we have ever had have come in the wee small hours of the morning. Last night was no ... Read More

The hardest part of this so-far-short little journey has been telling our family. We didn’t want to get everyone all anxious about something that may be a non-issue. Doctor Peggy was pretty adamant today that this is now officially NOT a non-issue.

I called my mom first, then my dad (who had to call me back because he was driving to ... Read More

My longtime friend, Katie, just happened to be speaking this week at Ohio State in Columbus. She lives in North Dakota, so the fact that she was 77 miles away when I got the diagnosis was a true gift from God.

She met me at my house right after the MRI. I had just finished showing her around my home and ... Read More

The best way to stop worrying about yourself is to start worrying about someone else. With that motto in mind, I stopped at the grocery store on my way to the MRI. I wanted to pick up some flowers for Billie, the head receptionist, who had jumped through fiery hoops the day before in order to both schedule my MRI ... Read More

I feel like Cybil. Or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One moment I’m upbeat and positive I can handle anything that life– or cancer– throws at me, and the next moment I’m scared and anxious and worried and frustrated.

Let me remind you, no one has said, “Nicole, you have cancer.” No one. There has been no definitive test. At this ... Read More

Either my doctor is a drama queen &/or alarmist, or there is a VERY good chance that I have breast cancer. When the radiologist wrote the words “Consistent with cancer” in his report, Dr. Peggy leaped into action.

We saw her at the ballfields yesterday. Our kids play on the same team. This was the first chance Saul was getting to ... Read More

Saul came to bed last night at about 1 in the morning. In my grogginess, I heard him say, “Jojo was asking lots of questions. I told her.”

Jojo is our 11 year old daughter. All of a sudden I was wide awake wondering what my little girl was thinking and my husband was fast asleep.

Morning came and Jo gave me ... Read More

I used to think kindness was all about the money. Boy was I wrong. Anyone can walk by a beggar on the street and throw some coins in a can. But the person who stops, kneels down, looks that beggar in the eye and says, “Hey, I care about you because my creator cares about you” is the person who ... Read More

I woke up and opened my email to find some fantastic news! I have lumpy boobs! I was thrilled to be able to shoot off an email to all of my prayer warriors proclaiming this fun fact, and of course my husband and I got a giggle out of it too.

And then, at about noon, I got a phone call.

It ... Read More