Have you ever felt like no one could possibly understand the chaotic and complicated inner workings of your brain? Even if you could explain them, it wouldn’t make much sense to an outsider, right? They are uniquely you.
Like the time I was in fourth grade and insisted on sleeping outside my dad’s bedroom door for three months. My parents had gotten divorced the previous year. I knew my father wasn’t going to leave me. I heard him when he told me I had to stay in my own bed. And yet, every morning, there I would be, curled up in a little ball on the shag carpet outside his closed door. No pillow, no blanket and no explanation of why my body insisted on moving in the middle of the night.
Apparently I still have some chaotic and complicated tendencies. I always know when one has come to light because my husband grins, shakes his head and says, “It’s all part of the glory and splendor of the mystery that is my wife.” He’s said that line about 40 million times in our 16 years of marriage.
What if God knew every single thing we were ever going to do from birth until death? He knew when we’d sleep on the floor or hover over a sick child or choose the path that leads away from Him… we wouldn’t even have to try to explain it.
This week’s memory verse is balm to the soul of the person who longs to cry out, “Do you see me, God? Do you know how much I’m hurting? Do I matter to you?”
Here it is:
“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalm 139:16 (NLT)
Isn’t that beautiful? Like magnificently gorgeous? He loves each of us so much that He not only created us, He actually set out the perfect plan for each of our lives.
I bet we break His heart when we choose the more difficult path, and yet He knew that would happen. Our bumps, detours and black ice do not catch Him by surprise. He knew we would give in to temptation and the enemy and our own sinful desires so He has allotted chapters in our book specifically for creating beauty out of the ashes.
Friend, I hope you’ll commit the words of Psalm 139 to memory so the next time you find yourself wondering, Do I matter to you, God? you’ll know the answer is yes. He always has and He always will.