Remember that surgery I narrowly escaped earlier this week? Yeah, well, it caught me. The doctor reluctantly agreed not to do surgery on Tuesday, but by Thursday it was evident that my wound was going in the wrong direction.
I sheepishly texted several very attractive pictures of blood and puss and general yuckiness to my doctor’s cellphone. Unfortunately, I sent the photos and then remembered to send the message, so when my poor doctor opened his phone… tah dah!!! Nicole’s Mastectomy Wound! I sure hope he wasn’t eating…
Dr. Chao called me and told me he needed to see me in his office the next day.
So on Friday, I ended up having the surgery I probably should have had on Tuesday. Boo.
Here’s the good news. Tuesday’s surgery would have been done in the hospital and I would have been totally knocked out with anesthesia. Friday’s procedure was done in the clinic under local anesthesia. Well, I think that’s the good news. I didn’t want to go under because that anesthesia can really mess with a person’s body, but staying awake was no party either. I could hear everything, I could smell everything (burning skin thanks to a cauterizing tool), and I could think about all the things that could go wrong.
My friends, Ann and Tania, were there, and Ann actually came into the procedure room and watched the whole thing. She even took photos. Don’t worry, I’ll never show you anything too graphic, I just want documentation of this entire journey. I still cannot get over Ann watching it all… that girl must have a strong stomach.
When she wasn’t taking pictures, Ann was praying, as was Tania in the waiting room. And actually, I was too. Every time I felt choked by the worry of what was happening, I escaped. I went back to my high school choir room where 70 kids were singing the song we sang as a class every Friday. “The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. The Lord be gracious unto you.”
I just kept singing it and picturing angels and telling God how thankful I am that He is with me, watching me, holding me, helping me to be brave and strong and hopeful.
As much as I didn’t want to have the surgery, I’m so relieved I did. The wound is all closed up and safe from bacteria and ready to heal. I’m ready to heal, too.