Have you ever needed something brilliant to say? Something that would perfectly express what sits so delicately, yet passionately, in the center of your heart?

I’m not supposed to be writing this blog right now. I’m supposed to be writing a 45 minute speech. I want it to be clever and interesting and motivating and make everyone fall over in their chairs at the end because they can’t believe they’ve never before heard such life-changing thoughts.

I want them to walk out of the room and say, “Yes! I see the power of kindness and I’m going to use it every moment of every day for the rest of my life!”

The trouble is, I’m human. I’m just not that good. Is anyone?

All of my speaking events before this one involved two things: kindness and forgiveness. I would talk about growing up with a great mom who happened to make a bad decision that changed the course of all of our lives… about being the flower girl in her prison chapel wedding… about realizing that my unwillingness to forgive was sucking the joy out of the rest of my life. And how I learned to forgive.

But now that C word is coming up again. Cancer. This will be the first time I’ve spoken since battling cancer.

I feel like there is a new message to be shared. One that talks about using kindness to heal our fears and exhaustion and pain and exasperation. The cancer is gone and yet it’s not. It’ll never be totally gone. There will always be part of me that identifies with that time in my life the way I still identify with the 10 year old flower girl.

There is a way to move people and motivate people and remind people that they are here for a purpose. I just have to find it.

I came across some great advice while reading the other day. Joyce Meyer (mega best-selling author), said this: “Be more concerned about who God is than who you are.”

So I will plan, I will prepare, I will BEG YOU TO SEND ME SUGGESTIONS OF HOW TO BE BRILLIANT, and then I will let go and let God. I will trust that He will show up and put words in my mouth that will touch people who may or may not even know Him. I’m not that good. But He is.