Being a Coach’s Wife

For 16 years, people have been asking me, “What’s it like to be a coach’s wife?”

For 16 years, my answer has been, “Um… I don’t know. It’s good?”

The thing is, I don’t know any different. Saul is the only husband I’ve ever had, so I’ve never had the opportunity to compare my husband, the Division 1 College Basketball Coach, with my husband, the teacher or my husband, the accountant.

It’s just part of our life. So I’m always stumped by the question.

I can certainly tell you how his job has evolved over the years or how our relationship (and I) have had to mature to weather the stress of the job, but seriously… what couple doesn’t go through that? In any field, it’s part of the game.

A man in Southern California has finally given me a good, solid answer for people who truly want a peek into the life of a coach’s wife.

I can now say, “Watch the movie.”

Jonathan Moore is an independent filmmaker and associate professor at Vanguard University. He also happens to be the son of a coach’s wife.

Jonathan and his team have released a touching and quite accurate (from my point of view) portrayal of what it’s like to do day-to-day life with a man who is married to his wife and to his sport.

In their own words, high school coaches’ wives talk about why they don’t sit with parents in the stands; college coaches’ wives talk about how games take precedence over holidays; the fiancee of Phil Jackson (former Bulls and Lakers coach) talks about the attractiveness of a man who commands the room.

I kept thinking, “Wow… I’ve felt all of those things. I just never knew how to express them.”

And then I got to see my favorite part of the documentary. The part that made me a little bit weepy.

The women acknowledge the gratitude they feel because their husband gets to do what he loves for a living.

Amen, Sister!

People have to go to work. The people who find something to do that makes them want to go to work are the blessed ones. And that’s us. Coaches and their wives.

I guess I know what to tell people now who ask me what it’s like to be a coach’s wife.

Right after I tell them to watch the movie, I think I’ll tell them this:

Win or lose, nasty newspaper articles, lost jobs, snarky comments from the stands, missed birthdays and Thanksgiving dinners. None of it matters.

My husband needs basketball to breathe. It’s his purpose and he knows it and he gets to live it. And I get a front row seat. What could be better than that?

If you want to watch “Coaches’ Wives – a documentary film” it’s available online. You can find it here

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